A Rapper’s Entourage Is Full Of . . .

The N Word


We rather say, “What’s up, bro?” than “Sup my n***a?” It’s more prudent and we don’t like to use words slave masters used to say . . . a lot. Even when some of our black friends say, “It’s cool; you’re Latino so you can say it.” We rather not because you’re not going to hear us say, “It’s cool; you’re black so you can call me a spic.” It just doesn’t seem right. Now saying cracker is a whole other story. We hate us some cracker ass crackers. –Atahualpa

Imported Beer


Latinos with one or more advanced degrees enjoy showing how cultured they are by their choice in beer. While educated Latinos enjoy many all-American pastimes, playing beer pong with Budweiser is not one of them. Instead, Latinos are united in their preference for imported beers. The same philosophy applies here as in the classic salsa theory, drinking imported beers from our mother countries gives a sense of pride/ link to heritage. Check the fridge of any given educated Latino and you will find one of the following: Corona, Dos Equis, Presidente, Medalla (Super Puerto Rican throwback) and Heineken (no ethnic connection, just a household fave).

As the said educated Latino matures and broadens his/her social circles (which begins in college), their beer knowledge expands as well. Now they’ve traveled quite a bit and made lasting friendships with a white person or two, so it is easy to become a beer snob. Words like lager (light beer), ale (without hops) and stout (top fermented) now come into play. What better way to impress other educated people at social events then to be able to converse about beer in great detail. When in a sophisticated social setting educated Latinos will most likely order one of the following: Stella Artois, Pilsner Urquell, Guiness Stout or Hoegaarden.

Good Ol’ Salsa


There are very few things educated Latinos having in common with their parents, music being one of them. They LOVE LOVE LOVE old school salsa, old school meaning anything circa 1970. Check an educated Latino’s ipod and you will see one or all of the following artists: Hector Lavoe, Willie Colon, Celia Cruz, Ray Barretto, El Gran Combo or anyone under the Fania umbrella. This could be for many reasons – one being modern day music is LAME most of the time and two – because it keeps said educated Latino close to their heritage. It’s another way of distinguishing themselves from those non-Spanish speaking Latinos or Latinos who have never visited their motherland countries.

Therefore, when given the chance most educated Latinos would much rather listen to say, Marc Anthony, then Daddy Yankee. I know, I know, everyone is shocked to hear it, but it is true. Most educated Latinos did not grow up listening to reggaeton, instead it was the Spanish language music of their parents (or hip-hop, but that is another blog altogether) blasting in the background of every holiday, every birthday party, not reggaeton so there is no attachment there. A close analogy would be if you take for instance West Indians and their love for Bob Marley vs. Sean Paul, reggae vs. dance hall. Most West Indians have greater respect and love for reggae music, like Bob Marley, and can relate to it more, than dance hall. Dance hall is fun and ok for the clubs, but that’s about it. Now take this example and replace the genres with Salsa and reggaeton and you get the picture.

North of the Border


Educated Latinos love to travel, especially since now we have the money to do so. However, it takes a lot to impress us when it comes to going abroad. What most people consider “exotic” tropical vacations are like our backyards since we’ve been traveling to these locals all our lives to visit family. You gotta do a lil better than that. Again, while many people are quick to run off to Central and South America for an “adventurous” vacation, we know better. We are looking to get away from that and trying something new and a lil more relaxing. Therefore, our general rule of thumb when planning an exotic vacation is going somewhere where the primary language is neither ENGLISH OR SPANISH. Some examples include Prague, Greece, Thailand, and Italy. Remember, exotic doesn’t necessarily have to be oceans away, it can be as simple as planning a weekend getaway to say Montreal, Canada. I know it’s a crazy concept – us not running south of the border – but give it a chance, we did. – Taina

News To You

Maria Celeste

A Latino with a degree likes to watch Telemundo and CNN. I know the latter is a shocker but we have a tendency to be aware of our surroundings. It’s better that way to prepare for whatever Bush has us scared of that day. And we don’t only watch Telemundo for the hot newscasters (palabra to Maria Celeste) but we like to know what Latin American tyrants are doing to our beloved countries. So if you walk in on us watching Anderson Cooper instead of Don Francisco don’t have a titty attack; it’s what we do. –Atahualpa